LOVE LIBS: Words for the romantic - and the heartsick

Ah, love. Who could guess that one little word could be so complicated? Whether you’re trying to find a new love or express your feelings about a current one, the words always seem to get bungled. You say it wrong. Or you say something you don’t mean. Or you don’t say it at all.

So in honor of Valentine’s Day (and the little naked dude), we offer this spin on the Mad Lib game as a nod to how complicated love can be — no matter what you’re trying to say. (You know the Mad Lib drill: Have a friend ask you for the missing parts of speech, fill in the blanks, then read aloud. The less sense it makes, the better!)

DEAR CUPID, I don’t know if it’s my ___________ ADJECTIVE personality or my ________________________ ADJECTIVE/PART OF BODY but something is driving the ladies away! I take my dates to the ____________ ADJECTIVE places, open doors, pull out their ________________ PLURAL NOUN and pay for their __________________. TYPE OF FOOD But when I lean in for a kiss at the end of the night, they always give me a ___________________ ADJECTIVE look and ____________________ VERB the door in my face. All I want is to find a ____________________ ADJECTIVE/NOUN I can share the rest of my life with. What am I doing wrong?

- LOSER IN LOVE

DEAR LOSER, I hate to say it, but you need to take a ________________ ADJECTIVE look at yourself in the ______________. NOUN Not only are you ____________________ ADJECTIVE , but your _______________________ NOUN is pushing away potential loves. Successful dating is not about what you do — it’s about how many ____________________ ADJECTIVE compliments you give her. A lady needs to be ____________________, VERB(ED) and told how ______________________ ADJECTIVE she is. Tell her you love her __________________, PART OF BODY _________________________________, ADJECTIVE/PLURAL PART OF BODY

____________________ ADJECTIVE mind — but be sincere! ___________________ ADJECTIVE women can tell when you’re lying. You might also want to do something about that __________________ ADJECTIVE personality of yours . . . Just sayin’.

- CUPID

DEAR CUPID, I’m always falling for the wrong type of _____________, PLURAL NOUN who treat me like a ____________________ ADJECTIVE/NOUN or worse, and _________________ ADJECTIVE/NOUN — and like an __________________, ADJECTIVE/NOUN I just keep coming back for more! My last boyfriend bought me _________________________ NUMBER/PLURAL NOUN for my birthday — and expected me to be happy! The boyfriend before that ___________________ PAST-TENSE VERB my car into a ______________________ PLACE and expected me to pay for it! Where can I find a partner who appreciates me, loves me and treats me ___________________ ADJECTIVE _ (like I deserve!)?

- CONFUSED

DEAR CONFUSED, You seem to find yourself attracted to the worst _________________________ ADJECTIVE/PLURAL NOUN you can find! But consider this: You get the treatment you accept. It’s time to make demands. Make a list of the sort of ___________________ NOUN you want in your life. Should he be ____________________ ADJECTIVE ? Or ___________________ ADJECTIVE ? Would you like to date a ______________________ NOUN who is ______________________ ADJECTIVE ? Be specific! It’s time to toss those __________________________ ADJECTIVE/PLURAL NOUN to the curb, and seize the ________________________ NOUN !

- CUPID

DEAR CUPID, My husband and I are stuck in the same ____________________ ADJECTIVE routine. Every night we eat ___________________________ TYPE OF FOOD at ________________________ PLACE and then go straight to sleep. He used to be so romantic, ___________________ ADJECTIVE and ____________________ — but now he’s just ADJECTIVE ___________________ ADJECTIVE . How can we put the _________________________ NOUN

- LOST THE FIRE

DEAR FIREMONGER, Sometimes all you need to put a little ___________________ NOUN back into your love life are some back in our relationship? __________________________ ADJECTIVE movies. Light a few ______________________ PLURAL NOUN around the house, pour a bottle of __________________________ LIQUID , and curl up on the _____________________________________ PIECE OF FURNITURE for a night of romantic films. Try a few of my favorites: _____________________________________ ADJECTIVE in Seattle Sweet Home ___________________________ STATE ________________________________ ADJECTIVE Dancing The Truth about ________________ PLURAL NOUN and _______________ PLURAL NOUN __________ NUMBER Things I Hate About ____________________ CELEBRITY FEMALE And my personal favorite: When ____________________ CELEBRITY MALE met ________________________ PERSON IN THE ROOM

- CUPID

DEAR CUPID, I’m in love with two ____________________ PLURAL NOUN . One has the ____________________ BODY PART of ____________________ CELEBRITY and the brain of _____________________________ HISTORICAL FIGURE . The other has the ________________ BODY PART of __________________________ PERSON IN THE ROOM and the heart of a ____________________. NOUN I’ve been seeing both for ___________________________ NUMBER weeks and I don’t know what to do! The first is really _________________________ ADJECTIVE _, but the other is _____________________________ ADJECTIVE . One brings me ____________________ PLURAL NOUN every morning, but the other is a great _________________________ VERB(ER) , which is really important to me. I can’t keep on like this — how do I choose?

- TOO MANY CHOICES

DEAR TOO-TIMER, You sound like one of those __________________________ PLURAL NOUN who are never ___________________ ADJECTIVE . You don’t know what you want, so you’re trying to have it all! You need to get your ___________________ PLURAL NOUN in a row — and make a choice. I suggest you pick the one who ___________________ PLURAL VERB the best, makes you feel like ____________________ NUMBER bucks, and whispers sweet ___________________________ PLURAL NOUN in your ear. And don’t ever try to date two ____________________ PLURAL NOUN at once!

- CUPID