Memorable Moments

When Rachel Wilson read the rough draft of the words that would be spoken during her September 2006 wedding ceremony, she knew it wasn't for her.

The typical flowery speech about love wouldn't cut it, so she and her officiant brainstormed to come up with a ceremony that reflected the couple's views on marriage.

"My major thing was that marriage is a commitment," Wilson says."It's about the commitment to work things out, to trust the other's intentions and have their best interests at heart. I also talked about life- doing the dishes and taking walks together and going on vacation and sharing the remote control. That's the meat and potatoes of a marriage. You know, day in and day out we don't just gaze into each other's eyes and talk about how much we love each other."

Such efforts to personalize wedding ceremonies and receptions are aimed at helping guests get to know a couple better - their personalities, quirks and beliefs. Another big benefit: The wedding stands out from the five other weddings guests attended this year.

Maria Smith, a partner at The Historic Pinecrest wedding and reception site in Palmer Lake, has seen couples personalize their ceremonies in a number of ways. Ideas can be simple, like the ceremony in which a bride had a snippet of Pink's "Get This Party Started" played just before she walked down the aisle. Or they can be more complex, such as the Star Trek-themed wedding that featured groomsmen wearing communicator badges and centerpieces that included spaceship names from various Star Trek television shows.

"I think that (personal touches) can usually make things a lot more fun," Smith says.

Sometimes brides and grooms will surprise each other during the ceremony. One might hire a horse and carriage, or sing a song during the ceremony that holds meaning for the couple. In recent years, it has also become popular for couples to perform a tree-planting ceremony rather than lighting a unity candle, Smith says.

"They'll do something that feels permanent," she says. "They'll actually have a little tree and they'll put dirt into that, and then plant it at a later date."

To Wilson, the personal touches in her ceremony were all about building a strong marriage and helping guests understand who she and her husband, Andrew, really are as people. They asked guests to read a short paragraph as a "declaration of community," which symbolized the need for a support group to create a healthy, lasting marriage. The couple also acknowledged parents with gifts during the ceremony, Rachel acknowledged a mentor, and Andrew's grandmother wrote the opening prayer.

"I didn't want our wedding to be about some kind of standard, canned kind of process," Wilson says. "I wanted people to really get a sense of who we are and what we were doing there that day."

Wilson believes guests appreciated the personal touches she incorporated into the wedding, judging from the number of compliments she received afterward. Dené Manago, who is planning a September 2008 wedding with her fiancé, David, aims to give guests a peek into the couple's personality during the reception. Manago plans to put fun facts about herself and her fiancé on each table, and a few facts about the two as a couple.

"One thing that we put down is that I'm a huge Peyton Manning fan," she says. "For David, he named his dog Brando after the actor, Marlon Brando, because he's a huge Brando fan."

Manago sees these trivia tidbits as a way to encourage guests to mingle and to learn that they may have a few things in common with the bride and groom.

"Maybe someone will come up to me later in the night and say, ‘You know what, I'm a huge Peyton Manning fan, too," she says.

Manago also plans to place small picture frames with a photo of herself and David at each table setting, so the guests will have something personal to take home from the wedding. As important as it is for couples to inject their personalities into their wedding and reception, Smith advises using some caution when settling on the details. One memorable mistake, she says, was a wedding in which the mother of the groom hired comedians to perform during the reception as a surprise.

"They were well-known up in Denver; one was a radio host," Smith says. "But nobody thought it was funny, and it just turned out really badly. I wouldn't encourage anyone to hire a comedian during a wedding reception."

And if a couple is planning anything especially unusual, they may want to consider how their guests will feel.

"You always have to kind of remember other people in your family," Smith says. "If it's something totally off-the-wall, you might want to think about what your grandparents think."