For owner, the dispute over Chicken Man isn’t so funny

Surely we all yearn for an America where chickens can roam free; a land where any chicken, regardless of the color of his plumage or how humble his nest, can rise above the flock.

Amid the purple mountain majesty of Woodland Park, free-range chickens have become a threatened species, as City Hall in recent weeks initiated a crackdown on a figure locally known as Chicken Man. The yellow-and-red Chicken Man, hired as a roadside advertising gimmick by local businesswoman Lisa Branden, offended the aesthetic sensibilities of the city that dubs itself “The City Above the Clouds.”

City Manager David Buttery, henpecked in recent days, has said Chicken Man violates Woodland Park’s sign ordinance. A city official told Branden she was in violation of the city sign code, but Buttery denies he ordered Branden to recall the chicken.

Referring to recent stories, he said, “I’ve never said a costumed figure detracts from the mountain grandeur.” The city’s master plan does address the town’s character and general look, he said.

Thursday night, about 80 citizens turned out for a planning commission meeting, many of them wearing T-shirts bearing the slogan “Don’t Choke Our Chicken.” The shirts were provided by Jerry Lowe, owner of another small business, High Altitude Aircraft Solutions.

Chicken Man himself sat in the front row, holding an American flag.

The crowd arrived jovially, a communal tongue in beak. But Branden was less sanguine.

“I’m taking this deeply personal,” she said. “There’s no small-business owners on the planning commission. I’ve got my life savings invested in this.”

Branden owns Wild Wings ’n’ Things, a restaurant. Three parttime workers share Chicken Man duties, waving at traffic on nearby U.S. Highway 24.

Not far from Branden’s business on Woodland Park’s main drag is the Rocky Mountain Dinosaur Resource Center, a business partly enabled by the City Hall-blessed downtown development authority.

In front of the dinosaur center? Palm trees, which are lit up at night. It would take quite a display of bureaucratic sophistry to explain how palm trees blend in with Rocky Mountain ambiance while Chicken Man does not.

Woodland Park’s sign ordinance is silent about costumed human beings.

The sign code says: “All signs not expressly permitted or exempted from this regulation are specifically prohibited.”

Buttery has a better chance explaining that to a chicken than a district judge, who might well find that Woodland Park’s sign ordinance is unconstitutionally vague.

Or a judge might just call it chicken.

The controversy continues in two weeks, when the town’s planning commission continues work on a new sign ordinance.

“We’ll figure it out,” Buttery pledged, “and we’ll do the right thing.”

Contact Barry Noreen at 636-0363 or noreen@gazette.com. He appears every other Friday on KOAA’s Comcast Channel 9 at 4 p.m.