Clergy find church jobs are anything but peaceful

The Rev. David Shaw had high hopes when he became leader of Church in the Wildwood in Green Mountain Falls.

Fresh out of a United Church of Christ seminary, Shaw imagined he’d have plenty of quiet time to study and meditate on Bible passages. He thought that if he delivered edifying Sunday sermons, his congregation would grow.

Five years later, Shaw finds himself buried in administrative tasks as the church’s only full-time employee. Attendance has shrunk from 120 people each week to about 80. Meeting the church budget is a constant struggle.

At times, Shaw has experienced anxiety, depression and insomnia as Wildwood’s minister.

“There was a certain amount of naiveté I had (about becoming a pastor),” Shaw, 32, said. “The job is vastly more difficult than people understand.”

About 1,500 pastors in the United States leave ministry every month, according to a recent study by the Barna Group, a research organization that tracks Christian trends. A study last year by the Fuller Theological Seminary found that 70 percent of U.S. pastors are discouraged and have experienced long periods of depression over their jobs.

Clergy complain of burnout, unreasonable expectations placed on them, long hours, heavy administrative demands, guilt of feeling like they aren’t doing enough, and stress of leading a church at a time when many Christians are divided on polarizing issues.

Jim Oraker, an ordained Presbyterian minister and Colorado Springs psychologist who counsels stressed pastors, says an added burden to ministers is the stigma of seeking help.

“Some fear discipline from their denomination or firing (from their church board) if they admit to weakness,” Oraker said. “When they know they need help, they hesitate to get it.”

For some priests and ministers, it becomes too much.

Rick Danforth, of Cañon City, changed careers in 2008 after being a pastor within the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America for 20 years. He’s now a case manager for Starpoint, a Cañon City center helping the developmentally disabled.

Danforth said the long hours, his family constantly having to move when he was transferred, and the dwindling respect given to clergy were factors. But the final straw was the disapproval he says he got from congregants and ELCA about his divorce a few years ago.

Most days, Danforth is glad he left ministry. But other days are difficult.

“I feel in a lot of ways that I let God down,” Danforth said. “But the other side of it is that I know God is not done with me yet.”

H.B. London is vice president of Focus on the Family’s pastoral ministries, which helps thousands of clergy each year deal with job stresses and other ministerial issues. He said pastors are often both loners and people pleasers, a bad combination. As loners, they have no one to confide in, London said, and as people pleasers, “the fatigue this creates leads to despondency.”

Bob Kaylor, the new pastor at Tri-Lakes United Methodist Church in Monument, said for years his people-pleasing sensibility left him stressed out. In time, he learned to set boundaries. An example, he said, is that if a congregant monopolizes his time as he greets people at church, he’ll cut off the conversation and suggest a later appointment.

“You take control of your schedule,” Kaylor said. “You get beat up if you don’t do that.”
Controversial issues such as immigration reform, ordination of women, abortion and gay rights are other sources of stress for clergy.

In 2007, Church in the Wildwood’s congregation broke apart when Shaw allowed a lesbian college student to intern there. About 35 members left within weeks because they feared the young woman would be a bad influence on the children, Shaw said.

“It was traumatic,” said Shaw, who suffered insomnia during the split. “But at the end of the day, I knew my principles and would not let them shut her out.”

Shaw has also been stressed by ministry hours cutting into family time. Tuesday night, he was on the phone with a congregant going through a serious family issue, he said. Then Shaw’s wife, Stacey, arrived home in a distressed state carrying their 6-month-old baby. Their 2-year-old son started wailing.

“I was left emotionally torn in that split second,” Shaw said.

Shaw has learned to compartmentalize his emotions in his job, since one day may mean counseling a despondent congregant, presiding over a funeral, composing a sermon, leading a Bible study and speaking at a community rally.

“You have to have a strong sense of intentional amnesia,” Shaw said.

Though he understands why people leave the ministry, and admits his five years as church leader have been difficult, Shaw remains committed to his vocation.

He even sees a silver lining in his struggles.

“It’s been wonderful and it’s been frustrating,” he said. “There’s been tremendous sadness and guilt, and joy and happiness.

“But through it all, I’ve gotten a lot closer to God.”

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To read more on the realities of clergy life, go to Barna’s blog, “The Pulpit,” at www.thepulpit.freedomblogging.com.