Keep eyes on children-dog interaction
"Can I pet your dog?"
Most of us want to say yes. A good neighbor lets children pet his dog, right?
"People want to be nice," says Colleen Pelar, dog trainer and author of "Living with Kids and Dogs ... Without Losing Your Mind." "But by being nice to people we're sometimes not nice to our dogs."
Many people don't recognize the subtle signs of stress in dog body language. You may not realize that your dog tolerates being petted by strangers but does not enjoy it.
"If we don't see that, we're going to be blindsided on the day that's more stressful, when four kids come over and your dog snaps," Pelar says.
There's certainly no need to panic about the odds of a dog bite. But no matter how small the chance is - no matter if it's just a snap and not even a scratch - you know how bad you'd feel if it were your dog. So follow a few simple rules, and understand some basic elements of canine body language.
Most kids know to ask the owner if it's OK. But, Pelar emphasizes, "Then you have to ask the dog."
Let the dog decide whether to approach the child. Don't hold a dog still in your lap for petting, and respect the dog's decision if it turns away or moves behind the owner.
If the dog does approach, don't concentrate on the tail, it can be hard to read. Pelar says, "I tell people that if they're looking at the tail, they're watching the wrong end of the dog."
Instead, the mouth can give a lot of clues. A dog that's licking lips, panting excessively or yawning is showing that it's not comfortable. These are oral self-soothing behaviors much like sucking your thumb, Pelar says. In contrast - opposite of the common maternal fear of the teeth showing - if the dog's mouth is open, that's a sign that it's relaxed.
Pet a dog under the chin or along the neck or side, not the top of the head.
Pelar explains this to kids by saying, "Avoid the sensitive eyes and ears." This is easy to understand, and the result is that they avoid the blind spot on the top of the dog's head.
Encourage children to pet slowly. "‘Slow motion like in the movies,' every kid understands what that means," says trainer Amy Robinson, whose DVD "Drool School" teaches dog safety to children.
If you have to say no because your dog's showing a stress-related behavior, take the opportunity to point it out. And on both sides, try to understand that it's not a judgment on the child or on the dog.
"If the owner says no, that's no reflection on the child's behavior," Pelar says. "That person is not saying that you're not kind to dogs. They're saying that my dog's not comfortable. And that's OK."
