Love and war

Planning a wedding can be stressful in the best of circumstances. Imagine arranging the details when your soon-to-be-spouse is thousands of miles away and in constant lethal danger. That's the situation many young Colorado Springs couples face when their fiancés are deployed to war-torn regions. It's the situation Sheila Taylor found herself in when her fiancé, U.S. Army Captain James Shavers, was serving in Iraq.

The couple met a few months before James was deployed with Fort Carson's 3rd Brigade, 4th Infantry Division in November 2005. Sheila and James exchanged many romantic emails, letters, care packages and telephone calls that brought them closer despite the miles separating them. The long-distance courtship actually helped them solidify their relationship. Home on leave the summer of 2006, James spoke to Sheila's parents about his intentions to propose to Sheila. That was on a Tuesday. The following Thursday, James proposed and Sheila accepted. The subsequent Saturday, James was on his way back to Iraq.

"It all happened quickly," says Sheila. "He thought that by proposing to me before he returned to Iraq, I could keep my mind off of things because I'd be busy planning the wedding."

Sheila says that wasn't always the case and that she worried about her fiancé's safety until he returned in the fall. "There were a lot of things I felt like I couldn't do without him," she says. "But since he returned, I've been bombarding him with wedding decisions."

Several of the wedding decisions were made with Sheila and James's engagement circumstances in mind. For example, Sheila's wedding gown harkened back to the early stages of the relationship.

 "It was very old-fashioned and romantic how we got to know each other," says Sheila, "so I chose an old-fashioned looking, romantic wedding dress for that reason." Sheila's formal dress was ivory with a lacy shawl and a train. She donned a veil, the length of which was slightly longer than the train.

After all the couple had been through, celebrating with family and friends became even more important. Their summer ceremony included around 300 guests, many of them children. Including children in the festivities was an easy decision for Sheila and James.

 "I have a lot of young cousins," says Sheila, "and we wanted them to be a part of the wedding."

To help accommodate the children, the couple had a separate children's buffet. A babysitter and children's entertainer was also present. A wedding planner was secured to help arrange all the festivities, but Sheila says her mother, Peggy Taylor, was a big help, too.

"It's the third wedding in four years that my mom has helped put together," says Sheila. "She knows what she's doing."

James also contributed to wedding planning during his limited time off in Iraq. The couple opted for a military-style wedding complete with an arch of sabers. Not all churches in Colorado Springs allow use of the arch and James conducted a search from Iraq to find a church that would.

James helped with the planning by surfing the Web for honeymoon spots - an activity that momentarily got his mind off his situation. Furthermore, James was solely responsible for setting up the couple's wedding Web site. The site included useful information for friends and family to access, as well as other organizational tools. Such sites are becoming a must for all tech-savvy couples.