THE PULPIT: Family learns forgiveness in New Life shooting

Coming to terms with the loss of a child can be a monumental challenge for any parent.

David and Marie Works have had to come to terms with losing two of theirs.

On Dec. 9, 2007, David, Marie and their four daughters were getting into their minivan in a New Life Church parking lot when gunman Matthew Murray began shooting. Murray killed two of their daughters — 18-year-old Stephanie and 16-year-old Rachel — and critically injured David.

Nearly two years later, David and Marie have shown an amazing ability to forgive Murray. They’ve even befriended his parents, who attended their daughter Laurie’s wedding in August.

“We are committed to being life-long friends with them,” David Works said. “They are good people, quite honestly. It’s fun to hang out with them.”

But the Workses don’t sugarcoat the fact that their emotional healing is a continuing process. In September, at a trauma seminar at Eastern Mennonite University in North Carolina, people asked David Works what trauma is like.
“Trauma isn’t like anything,” he replied. “Trauma is hell.”

Even so, the Workses have handled the tragedy about as well as could be expected. They credit New Life senior pastor Brady Boyd and others at the church with helping in their recovery.

They also credit a program called STAR, or Strategies for Trauma Awareness and Resilience, that was developed at Eastern Mennonite University.

Months before the shooting, David Works had some dealings with STAR, which sets out to allay feelings of victimization — a product of trauma — which breaks “the cycle of violence,” according to a STAR pamphlet. A big part of ending the cycle is forgiveness.

As David and Marie Works have forgiven Matthew Murray and become close with his parents, the Murrays have spoken publicly of their relationship with the Works family to show the power of forgiveness.

The Murrays did not return phone calls for an interview, but in a February 2009 spot on James Dobson’s “Focus on the Family” radio show, Ronald Murray said the relationship between the families “shows the love of God to bring and reconcile people together.”

David Works, however, downplays the relationship to protect the Murrays. “If you look at the way the families of perpetrators have been treated, it’s not so good for them (to receive publicity),” he said. “The presumption in society is that they are guilty, of what who knows, but they are guilty.”

Works said they aren’t looking for anything but friendship from the Murrays. “They don’t owe us anything,” he said.
To read more of my interview with David Works, go to my blog, The Pulpit, at www.thepulpit.freedomblogging.com.
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Call the writer at 636-0367