A respectful way to resolve disputes

Ready to bury the hatchet? Here's your big chance.

As you probably know, Thursday is International Conflict Resolution Day. What's that you say? Never heard of it?

OK, so maybe it's not as well-known as Christmas or the Fourth of July, but Conflict Resolution Day can provide its own kind of fireworks and perhaps even a few gifts.

In a first for the Pikes Peak area, local mediators are using the day to offer a free conference to teach conflict resolution skills as well as free two-hour mediation sessions to try to resolve disputes among family members, or neighbors, or co-workers, or anyone else who is seething with hatred.

"People are just looking for a nonadversarial way to solve problems instead of using the legal system," said Monica Lichtenberger, president of Phoenix Strategies, a local mediation company that is putting on the event. "Collaborative mediation gives voice to everyone at the table, and mediation is based on the idea of self-determination. People want to make their own choices rather than have a court impose it on them."

Mediation has been gaining momentum in recent years as an alternative to grudges or lawsuits, said Debbie Montoya. As program manager of the Better Business Bureau of Southern Colorado, Montoya oversees the organization's mediation department between businesses and aggrieved customers.

"I believe that if you're able to work out a complex problem without it escalating and moving on to court, that's a win-win for everybody," Montoya said. "I would say we have a very good success rate; 75 to 80 percent of our mediations are resolved."

The local BBB has had a mediation department for 13 years, Montoya said, and is one of the sponsors of the Conflict Resolution Day event.

"I just hope that people who come are more educated as to how mediation can help them, on personal and professional levels," Montoya said. "There's been a big shift toward mediation. Things can be solved much more quickly and it's a lot more cost-effective compared to a court case."

Lichtenberger has guided more than 600 mediations, and said she's seen many people who walk in saying they hate each other's guts and are unable to even look the other in the eye. But the majority of them leave with handshakes, hugs and sincere apologies.
Conflict Resolution Day may not achieve world peace, she said, but it very well might make your corner of the world a little more peaceful.

-

CONTACT THE WRITER: 636-0226 or bill.reed@gazette.com