Do we worry a little too much?

As a writer for Pikes Peak Parent and other Gazette publications, I do a lot of research. Turns out, that translated to mommyhood as well.

When I want to know about proper toddler nutrition, I turn to the Internet for answers. And the Internet provides.

But during all of that research, I've encountered a few things that I didn't notice before my daughter arrived: alarmist headlines, informing us clueless parents of all the ways we could be harming our children; parents bickering over the right way to raise children, from whether they should be given pacifiers to whether boys should be circumcised; and some parents simply caught in the crossfire, being attacked for the smallest "mistakes."

And so I found myself becoming worried. Could I post my latest parenting adventure to my blog - hey, go visit my blog at PikesPeakParent.com! - without being criticized for my faults? Would people notice that I don't know what I'm doing, or call Child Protective Services because I'm not particularly bothered that I don't know what I'm doing?

Because in this culture of what I've come to think of as "paranoid parenting," news organizations and Internet culture would almost have you believe that it's normal to freak out about every little danger, that it's not OK to make little parenting mistakes, and that you will be harshly judged on every decision you make.

Am I only just noticing this because I'm a new parent, or has parenting really become, well, paranoid?

Terryn Hodges, mother of Dylan, 8, and Julia, 5, believes that the media are largely responsible for any increased paranoia in today's parents.

"If people are more paranoid, then it is because of the inundation of media," she says. "I don't think there is any more to be worried about today than there were at other times. Things change, we've got these superbugs ... to be worried about. But you know, 200 years ago we had to worry about smallpox."

But Hodges also says that most people aren't the quivering sacks of worry that the media would have you believe, either. "When you talk to individuals, most people seem to realize you can't worry about everything."

Suzanne Brown, a local psychotherapist, says she does think today's parents worry more than in the past, largely because today's extended families often live far apart from each other.

"I think it takes a village to raise a child," Brown says. "And when we're in our separate homes and we're hundreds of miles or thousands of miles away from our mom, our dad, people we can actually count on and trust with our children, that makes it really difficult."

Those extended family members can serve as an extra pair of eyes or a sounding board when parents have concerns over their children's development. An experienced grandmother, great aunt or older brother might be able to ease a parent's fear, or they might be able to help alert a parent to an emerging problem.

When parents find themselves marooned from the helpful advice of their distant loved ones, Brown says it's imperative to find a local social circle who can fill the gap. Mothers groups, church, neighbors, coworkers ... you get the idea.

And another important tip: Toss out the idea that you have to be perfect.

"We don't want to be perfect," Brown says. "Because, number one, you can't be. And then what it does, is it takes away the joy of what you're doing well ... If you think you have to be perfect, you'll never be satisfied."

Counselor Krista Johnson of the Center for Child Counseling says today's parents may be more worried simply because we've become more aware of the dangers that exist around us. Kids experience more and are aware of more dangers, but the solution is absolutely not to panic.

"Panicking about everything is going to make a very scared environment and a fearful child," Johnson says. And no parent wants that for their kids.

Instead, parents can reassure themselves by preparing their children to navigate the world with confidence and an ability to make the right choices. To do that, parents have to resist the impulse to rescue their children from every single hardship.

"I really feel that rescuing is the main concern that I see, because the world does seem unsafe and difficult to deal with sometimes," Johnson says. "Our job isn't to make the world safe. Our job is to give our kids the skills to deal with life in all situations."

One of the ways parents can do that is to allow children to solve problems themselves in a safe place - such as home - while making the occasional mistake. When kids are allowed to struggle, they learn more from the experience.

"In addition to growth and struggle, kids learn how to be competent individuals when they go through hard situations, and they make their own choices, and they come out on top," Johnson says.

As you and your child navigate life together, chances are decent that you'll encounter someone who criticizes your parenting skills or gives you unsolicited advice.

"If you like that person and you want to stay friends with that person, unless it's a strong opinion or it's very much against our values, I usually listen to everyone's opinion because all opinions are valuable," Hodges says.

Joanne Crabb, grandmother of three children, agrees that all advice is valuable. "I don't always have to agree with or follow it. How can I learn anything if I don't listen to what is now the latest ‘fad'?"

But if you find yourself among a group of henpecking moms who have nothing positive to say, the best advice is simply to leave, says Brown.

And if all of this advice doesn't work, if you're finding yourself stressed out by the news, obsessed with worry over your vulnerable child, here's a little more advice: Turn to an expert.

Emily Adcox, who does not consider herself to be a paranoid parent in the slightest, says she turns to her pediatrician if she has a medical concern about her three kids - whether or not it's prompted by something she read in the papers. If you find yourself overwhelmed with worry, you need to see a counselor, Brown says.

So what has this round of research taught me? Maybe I've been a little too harsh in labeling this generation of parents as "paranoid." The moms (and grandmother) I spoke to seemed rather down to earth, with the only concerns they mentioned being grounded in solid reasoning. While the media squawk about the next big threat to our health, these women calmly go about their lives, enjoying their time with their kids.

And if ever the worry does begin to take hold in any one parent's life, there are always places to turn.