unavoidably AWKWARD

Awkwardness is all about perception. If you think something is going to be uncomfortable, it usually is.

Every day offers the potential for at least one sneak attack by an uncomfortable social encounter.

Like when you’re talking to someone who has a visible booger in his nose. Or something in her teeth. Or when a co-worker keeps telling you jokes that aren’t funny. Ever.

What to do, what to do?

Too often we choose to ignore it. The booger in that person’s nose doesn’t exist, we tell ourselves. But at the same time, we’re staring at it — and it, despite not existing, is also staring at us. Taunting us. Threatening to fly out and perhaps land on us.

It’s enough to make a person snap. There are just some situations you can’t help — things you can’t predict or ward off.

There’s a delicate balance between being helpful and being embarrassing; asserting yourself and being rude. So when you’re in a battle with a booger, what’s the right move?

Meet the experts:

Lizzie Post, great-great-granddaughter of the etiquette expert Emily Post and author of “How Do You Work This Life Thing?” a guide for young adults starting out on their own.

Syndi Seid, founder and director of San Francisco-based Advanced Etiquette. Seid has been teaching etiquette classes for 15 years.

Gloria Starr, global etiquette expert and owner of Global Success Strategies. Starr has been teaching etiquette classes around the world since 1983.

THE BOOGIE MAN

It almost feels as though it’s happening to you, the way you immediately begin to rub your nostrils the second you spot a booger in someone else’s nose. This is the universal signal, but some people just don’t get it. Instead of suffering through a conversation while staring at it, what do you do?

Actually, rubbing your nose isn’t a bad approach, say the experts. Body language can often remedy this problem. “I would look directly at them, not say anything, and I would just put my finger on my nose,” Starr said. “It’s just a quiet little stare for a couple of seconds.”

If that doesn’t work, say it. “If you’re in a group of people, you don’t just want to say it flat out,” Post said. Pull the person aside. You’d want to know, wouldn’t you?

THE AWKWARD SOCIAL SITUATION SURVIVAL GUIDE

PARENT WHO ALWAYS TALKS ABOUT HIS KID

Lil’ Johnny got an A on his math test? Jenny got accepted at Harvard? Fantastic news. But there’s no need to weave children into every conversation. (“Speaking of getting lunch, my little girl just won’t eat broccoli. She calls them little trees. Isn’t that the cutest?” No. No, it’s not.)

Your solution depends on how well you know the person.

If it’s an acquaintance, Post suggests letting it go. You probably don’t talk to this person much and there’s no use getting him upset and defensive.

“You can also redirect conversation,” Post said.

If it’s a friend, ask to hear more about her life, Starr said.

“If I know the person very well, I would say, ‘Cynthia, you’re living vicariously through your children. What are you doing in your life right now that sizzles?’” Starr suggested.

If all else fails, sit your friend down and gently point out the problem, Seid said.

“DO THESE PANTS MAKE ME LOOK FAT?”

Run away.

This bad boy is a land mine. What you say will determine how many limbs you’ll keep, if you’re lucky to keep your life. And guys, don’t think it’s only your girlfriend asking you this question. Girls do this to other girls, too, as some sort of sick measure of friendship.

“I would never ask that of someone except if they were really close friends,” Seid said. “And if that were the case, I want them to tell me the truth in a sensitive way. Otherwise, why the hell am I asking?”

If you’re going to try honesty, speak softly and gently. Don’t use the word “yes.”

You can also excuse yourself from the question — directly, like Post (“I’m not going to touch that one”), or more discreet, like Starr (“I have seen you in garments that are far more flattering.”)

Directing the person to something you know she looks great in may be the best response.

TAKING MATTERS INTO HIS OWN HANDS

Ever been around that guy who is constantly adjusting himself — and he isn’t 5?

Oh, awkward. Especially if it’s your boss. Or boyfriend.

The man is most likely clueless to his behavior. The way to handle this situation largely depends on how well you know the guy. If he’s an acquaintance or a co-worker, let it lie in most cases. But in the office it could be considered a sexual harassment issue; if it’s really a problem, tell a manager, Post said.

If it’s a friend or family member, you’ve got to confront it. Who knows how many people he’s making uncomfortable?

“Sometimes you just have to be equally rude and say, ‘That is a disgusting habit,’” Starr said.

It’s going to be awkward, but which is worse: one bad conversation or numerous uncomfortable situations?

TOO CLOSE AND PERSONAL

Close standers, close talkers, talkers who spit.

First off, there’s the issue of personal space. Americans generally keep a personal bubble of 18 inches to 3 feet. Naturally, your first reaction is to back away, but that may encourage the person to move toward you. You can keep going about this, or you can try the stare.

It’s a cold stare, Starr said, a “you’re doing something wrong” stare. Maybe even a borderline glare. Something to let the person know that you’re uncomfortable.

If that doesn’t work, you’ve got to say it. Seid suggests: “Please forgive me, but you standing as close as you are makes me feel uncomfortable.”

Same approach with bad breath — start discreetly and work up.

“Offer the mint first,” Seid said. But, she warned, be sensitive when taking the more direct approach. “There’s a lot of reasons why someone has bad breath,” she said, some of which are medical.

KIOSK PEOPLE IN THE MALL

You don’t need your hands lotioned. You don’t need a new cell phone. You don’t need decals for your Crocs, an eye pillow, or a hairpiece.

Why won’t those people leave you alone? Well, it’s their job. Largely you can avoid them by walking briskly with purpose. A curt “No, thank you,” should ward off any advances.

But if a salesperson should go as far as grabbing you? Use sharp words.

“I’ve learned over the years to say, ‘That is unacceptable,’” Starr said.

BABEL

You’re in a restaurant and the waitress is rattling off a list of entrees and you can’t understand a thing she’s saying. Maybe her accent is strong or her grasp of English is weak.

Asking her to repeat herself can be an easy way to grasp what’s being said, according to Seid. But if that’s not enough?

“I would probably say, ‘Excuse me,’ go up to the front and ask for someone else to explain the menu,” Starr said.

To make the situation a little less uncomfortable, consider this scenario from Starr:

“I travel constantly in other countries, and people are always apologizing for their poor English. And I say, ‘Your English is so much better than my Japanese.’”

FORGETTING A NAME OR USING THE WRONG ONE

Maybe you work in a large office and are presented with more than 100 names on your first day. How can you remember them all? You can’t.

You can relieve some of your own anxiety by introducing yourself to the person, who might have also forgotten your name.

That usually prompts a person to tell you his name, Seid said. If it doesn’t, apologize for forgetting and ask. Then, try placing the person’s name in the conversation a few times to help yourself commit the name to memory, Post said.

JOKES THAT AREN’T FUNNY

The easiest response to a joke you don’t think is funny: don’t laugh. Usually that’s enough to signal to the person she isn’t funny, and she’ll probably stop, Post said.

If you’re in a group, sneak out of the situation by excusing yourself, Seid said.

But what if you’re plagued by that co-worker who tells you the same joke over and over again?

“It’s all about your tone — ‘Oh yeah, I remember you told me,’” Post said. “Don’t just sit there and fake a laugh over and over.”

SILENCE IS GOLDEN

As a woman, naturally, I’ve never had a guy next to me at a urinal try to strike up a conversation. But a friend said this can be an extremely awkward encounter.

The experts are somewhat stumped. For the most part they agree there shouldn’t be talking in men’s or women’s bathrooms. How to get that to happen, however, depends on your personality.

“I find if you don’t really engage that much, they won’t really push it,” Post said.

Seid said she refuses to talk, which tends to shut people up. For guys, she suggested trying something such as: “Hang on a sec, let me finish this.”