NOREEN: Senator's reasoning on no vote stupefying

"If unborn children are indeed unique human beings, they deserve the full protection of the law. The issue is not the rights of the mothers but rather the humanity of the children. If these children are indeed human before birth, then their right to life outweighs their mothers' right to choose." - from the Web site of Sen. Dave Schultheis, R-Colorado Springs

Schultheis cast the only vote Wednesday against a bill requiring HIV testing for expectant mothers, a bill aimed at providing protection against HIV for the unborn.

He explained his vote by saying HIV-positive babies would teach society about the evils of promiscuity.

"This stems from sexual promiscuity for the most part, and I just can't go there," our esteemed senator opined.

Right, senator.

We should make sure we always punish the unborn for the poor choices or the bad luck of their parents. We now have the medical technology to save the babies of HIV-positive women.

But to heck with that - damn those babies. Why wait until they are born? Might as well damn them early and often.

And you are so creative, senator, to suggest that these HIV babies can be used as examples for us all, instructional tools to help us remember that right is right.

You are sooooo right, senator. In fact you are so far right that even former Gov. Bill Owens, another longtime pro-life advocate, doesn't get you at all. He called your opposition to protecting fetuses "extremely inconsistent" with your support for the unborn.

Maybe it's not too late for you to explain your nutty vote. You could tell people, "Hey, I vote against almost everything up here, and by simple reflex, I pushed the ‘no' button."

That would sound more plausible than the explanation you gave.

Really, why would we use HIV-positive babies to exemplify poor decision-making when we have you, senator? How do you explain a decision to cast a vote contrary to everything you've ever said about protecting the unborn?

We could have posters printed up with your picture and distributed to schools across Colorado.

We'd say, "Kids, this is a picture of a dangerous gonzo lunatic, a homophobe with all the answers. Sometimes people like this go to prison; sometimes they wear coats and ties and get elected to the Legislature. In any case, don't let this happen to you."

Oh, yeah, we can get a lot of mileage out of this as long as we're protecting children.

You're all for that, right, senator?

We don't want to sound ungrateful. After Doug Bruce left the delegation, some of us longed for another cashew, perhaps a Brazil nut, to come along and fill his empty shell.

Alas, one must watch out what one wishes for.

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