YOUR SPACE: Scared of talking in public? She can help you sound smart

Catherine Durkin Robinson puts words in people's mouths. For a price. The 38-year-old speechwriter charges 50 cents a word for toasts and wedding vows. Her rate for politicking Democrats is $1 a word. No such deal for the GOP. "Five dollars for Republicans," she says. The liberal Jewish vegetarian mother of twins did some political prose in Florida before moving here last year for her husband's job.

"Politicians love to hear themselves speak and must be coached on not only what to say, but what not to say," she says.

For the rest of us, public speaking is the fear of all fears - higher on the terror list than dying. As if a racing heart and dry mouth aren't bad enough, the mind tends to go blank.

That's where Robinson comes in. The blogger/novelist/citizen journalist also teaches social studies to Academy District 20 expelled students.

So far, she's crafted a few speeches for local Dems. But most are ceremonial, like her dearly departed Aunt Marie's funeral.

"Personal stories - that's what people want to hear. Show don't tell. Saying a person was kind-hearted means more if you tell a story that shows it. Or you can pay me. Whichever."

Services include editing. In college, she made extra cash writing papers for jocks - no way she'd do that now she's a teacher. Still, she harbors no regrets. As she puts it: "Like George Bush says, ‘When I was young and reckless, I was young and reckless.'"

No doubt Bush paid a speechwriter more than her going rate for that one. Must have worked, since she's quoting a Republican. "It's a good line," she says.

For this column, Robinson was asked to write current candidates' Inauguration Day speeches.

John McCain: "They said you wouldn't support an old man out of touch with reality. They said you'd reject my plan to spend 100 more years in Iraq and invade the rest of the world. They wrote me off when I chose Dick Cheney as my running mate, saying it was an unwillingness to break with Bush. We showed them, didn't we, Dicky? Four more years!"

Hillary Rodham Clinton: "I didn't get here on my own. Pioneers like Jeannette Rankin, first woman elected to Congress, and Hattie Caraway, first woman elected to the Senate, paved the way. Heck, even Nancy Pelosi played a part. Our victory is the result of their hard work. Of course, they never had to campaign with an opinionated man who can't keep his hands to himself, but enough about James Carville. Maybe I do deserve some credit."

Barack Obama: "All over this nation, people have made a choice between today and yesterday; with great hope and enthusiasm they have chosen the future over the past. To that end, it is my hope that in the future Dick Cheney takes George Bush on hunting trips and that Ted Kennedy drives them. Vice President Clinton, you feelin' me?"

Tell me your stories: 636-0253 or andrea.brown@gazette.com.