Former teachers give lesson that there's life after loss

Some who suffer deep personal loss try to bury their feelings.

For Dave and Beth Weikel, of Colorado Springs, hiding pain wasn’t an option.

In April 2006, the couple lost their son, Ian, a star quarterback at Fountain-Fort Carson High School who went on to graduate from the Military Academy at West Point, N.Y., and fulfill his dream of becoming an Army officer.

With a newborn son back home, Capt. Weikel died on his second tour in Iraq.

A year later, their grief still fresh, the Weikels lost three parents, one after the other.

“You go through a brokenness, literally,” Dave Weikel said. “How you deal with it determines whether you can start living again.”

The couple say they were inspired by those trials to begin sharing their own, faith-based approach to “living again,” which involved confronting their pain and trusting that God would see them through.  

In an upcoming workshop dubbed “How to Live with a Broken Heart: Lessons in Loss,” the husband-and-wife team will detail their methods for facing not only the death of a loved one, but other obstacles such as job loss, financial setbacks, divorce and damaged personal relationships.

The Weikels are both retired educators. Beth Weikel was as an English teacher in District 11, and Dave Weikel’s career involved stints as a teacher in the Falcon School District and as an administrator at both Palmer and Wasson high schools.  

They began their education in grief with the news that Ian Weikel, 31, had died in a bomb blast in Iraq.

Capt. Weikel had already served a tour in Bosnia and one in Iraq by the time his commitment had come to an end.  

He decided to continue his service, knowing it would mean a return to combat. Leaving wasn’t an option, his father said.

“He just felt like he couldn’t do that to his men,” Dave Weikel said.

After his death, the Weikels struggled to come to grips with their loss. Knowing that their then-8-month-old grandson would never know his father added to their pain.

“We had a year of getting used to this reality, and then the following year, one after another parent was gone within 8 months,” Beth Weikel said.

The couple found refuge in their faith. They recommend that people mourning a loss confront their feelings openly and develop an “action plan” that involves embracing their new life while avoiding harmful habits, such as drinking, placing blame or trying to get “lost” in work. Their seminar has a biblical foundation.

“The best thing you can do is to help them realize that life presents itself in many forms, and one form is loss,” Beth said.

“Any kind of wound that you get in life, it’s there to heal,” she said.

"How to Live with a Broken Heart: Lessons in Loss"

8:30 a.m. to 3 p.m. Saturday at Cheyenne Mountain Resort, 3225 Broadmoor Valley Road. Registration begins at 8 a.m. Cost is $35 for one person and $25 for each additional family member. Details at www.lifefromloss.com.