REVIEW: Diner reigns as King of spicy chili, attitude

King's Chef Diner has gained a cult following based on three factors: the kitschy, 13-seat, castle-shape 1955 diner it calls home; the heaping plates of good, greasy food; and the idiosyncrasies of owner Gary Geiser, who for more than 10 years has ladled out oddly endearing helpings of verbal abuse as if the stuff were on the menu.

People love it. Geiser - a vocal Republican (or at least anti-Democrat) mountain bike racer - does a greasy spoon-insult comic routine as he wipes down counters and serves up burgers and big plates of eggs and hand-grated hash browns.

In the years I've been bellying up to his old counter, he has called me a hack, a nancy boy, and most recently, a liberal (the ultimate Colorado Springs insult). He has eaten fries off my plate while passing by, and admonished me for not cleaning my plate. (If you clean your plate, you get a piece of candy and a sticker saying you are a member of the Clean Plate Club.)

This is par for the course. Geiser dishes it if he thinks you can take it, and he's outrageously funny (usually at your expense).

This summer, he opened a second, larger version of the diner, and I started to wonder whether the King's Chef formula would work without all three factors.

The answer is yes. While the new domain by Acacia Park lacks the castle-kitsch factor, it has other enticements, most notably seating.

Geiser's done a nice job of giving the space formerly occupied by Big City Burrito a retro-diner feel. The kitchen is surrounded by an L-shape formica counter with swiveling vinyl stools, just as in the first location, but beyond the counter wait several tables. Geiser still flits around, filling coffee, flipping burgers, slinging insults. The difference is that a front-row seat at the Geiser show is no longer obligatory. If you just want to eat in peace, you can get a quiet table in the back.

The first-time I visited, for breakfast, I went for the counter. Before I sat down, Geiser asked, "Coffee?" and filled a big mug. I ordered a plate of hash browns, two eggs, bacon and toast ($5.95). I could see Geiser's first mate furiously grating whole potatoes over the grill in the back and cracking eggs to one side. There is no egg mix here; if you order scrambled, the cooks scramble it with a fork.

Before I could scan the first page of the newspaper, the plate hit the counter. This diner is fast. There were some corners cut. The bacon seemed as if it were deep-fried long before I arrived, then warmed up. But the generous piles of fresh hash browns and the perfect over-easy eggs made up for it.

The food at King's Chef primarily comes in big piles with funny names. There's The Grump: hash browns, sausage, eggs and cheese covered with good, peppery country gravy ($7.95). There's The Thing: toast, eggs, sausage, cheese and hash browns smothered in fiery green chili ($7.95). There's also an assortment of sandwiches and a nod to salads, though I've never, in many visits, seen anyone order a salad.

The burgers ($4) are big, thick and juicy, served with fat slices of onion and tomato. The fries are plentiful and hand-cut - not as crisp as the frozen food-service version, but with more real potato flavor. To get a Clean Plate Club sticker after a burger-and-fries combo is to really accomplish something.

Geiser opened his new location primarily so he could have a kitchen big enough to sell the famous King's Chef green chili commercially. The chili doesn't mess around. Few people have ordered a bowl of the incendiary sauce and earned a Clean Plate Club sticker. Many have incurred the "I told you so" ridicule of the owner.

"I took my dad here once; he ordered the chili, and Gary refused to give it to him," a friend said recently when we ate lunch at one of King's Chef's new abundance of tables.

"He said it was too hot."

(Wednesday's Food section will feature more on Geiser's chili.)

My friend ordered a half-order of the Grump ($5.95). He called the warm, savory pile of breakfast "the ultimate hangover food." Indeed, King's Chef has always been popular with rough-looking Colorado College students rolling in for breakfast at 1 p.m.

My friend got about three quarters of the way through it before giving up.

"No sticker for you!" a young, female server told him.

Geiser seems to have adjusted well to his new location. (The old castle is still open, serving the same menu.) The Bijou Street spot is bigger, to accommodate the crowds that love his food and banter. And the larger space allows him to be louder.

The corner location is not quite as cool as the original but serves two purposes: Those who loved the well-priced, hearty food can now get it (with a searing helping of sarcasm) at a place they are likely to get a seat. Those who loved the old castle but avoided it because it was too crowded now stand a much higher chance of scoring a stool.

Everyone wins. Now shut up and eat.

DETAILS
King's Chef Diner
**** (good food with a bad attitude)

Addresses, contacts: 110 E. Costilla St., 634-9135; 131 E. Bijou St., 636-5010 Hours: 7 a.m-4 p.m. daily (Bijou); 8 a.m.-2 p.m. Mondays-Fridays (Costilla)
Entrees: $4-$9
Vegetarian: Yes
Liquor: No
Plastic: No