Support for the survivors

Families left to sort through their grief for soldiers killed in the Iraq war shared emotional stories Friday at Fort Carson.

The stories were told quickly, a couple of minutes each, as a microphone was passed among dozens of people who related their experiences with the cost of war. They represented a small part of the 220 soldiers connected to Fort Carson who have died in Iraq since the 2003 invasion.

Tears accompanied many of the accounts.

“My husband died last year. We have two boys,” said one woman.

“It’s the move . . . from ‘It’s not real’ to it being real that’s the hardest part,” said a man whose son died.

Melissa Givens spoke about her husband, Pfc. Jesse Givens, who was the first Fort Carson soldier to die in the Iraq war, on May 1, 2003. It was the same day President Bush announced major combat operations in Iraq had ended.

“As the president was telling me the war was over, I was watching two guys walk up to my door,” Givens said.

The families and friends gathered at the post for a seminar put on by a Washington, D.C.-based charity, Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors, or TAPS. Founded in 1994, TAPS has provided counseling and other services for more than 10,000 surviving family members of military personnel.

Bonnie Carroll founded the organization after the death of her husband, Brig. Gen. Tom Carroll, in a 1992 plane crash.

Organizers said the all-day conference would help make connections and build support among people whose loved ones have died during military service.

“It will create a network of support and comfort and care that I hope will carry you far into the future,” Carroll told about 80 adults who attended. About 30 children had their programs in separate rooms.

Many of the adults’ stories during a morning session centered on how families learned of the death. Two soldiers knocked on Sara Kruger’s front door soon after her husband, Lt. Col. Eric J. Kruger, died in a roadside bomb blast Nov. 2, 2006.

“I thought it was somebody soliciting, so I didn’t even look out the door, I just opened it up and was going to tell them to go away,” Kruger said.

Another military widow, Iris Solorio, said she was at a church when two soldiers showed up. She said she looked around and realized no other military wives were there. Then she ran from the soldiers.

“I started crying, and I knew he was dead,” she said. “I couldn’t believe it because I had talked to him 10 hours before.”

CONTACT THE WRITER: 636-0187 or perry.swanson@gazette.com