YOUR SPACE: Take away an Aussie's Vegemite? Crikey!
Sylvia Richardson was going through security at the Sydney airport when the unthinkable happened.
The Black Forest woman's Vegemite was confiscated.
That might actually seem like a good thing. Vegemite is a dark, salty muck made from leftover brewers' yeast. Think pureed liver-and-onion axle grease. Like something better left in the land down under.
The native Aussie doesn't see it that way. "It is so valued in Australia, you can't even carry it out of the country," she says.
Of course, that's not really why it was seized by the security agent, whose "eyes lit up" at the haul, she says. "Their excuse was that it was a gel and over the size."
She'd put a 16-ounce jar in a carry-on bag because her suitcase was stuffed with family heirlooms from visiting her widowed mum. Still, she expected her Vegemite comrades to give her a pass.
The vitamin-rich paste is Australia's cultural icon and national food, despite being made by America's Kraft Foods, which knows better than to dare market it here.
Australians smear it on toast. They sandwich it with tomatoes and onions. They grill with it. They dip it in hot, gooey pools of boiled eggs. Nothing is sacred: It's even on cheesecake.
Brainwashing starts early. A 1940s ad campaign had cute, healthy kids singing the "We're Happy Little Vegemites" anthem.
Richardson was a happy little Vegemite, until security took her dangerous gel.
Luckily, she had a 5-pound jar of Vegemite at home, purchased from an importer.
After settling in Colorado in 1992, she's often tried to spread the Vegemite love with students at her four daughters' schools. "Half ask for more," she says, "and half say it tastes like barf."
She shared her savory spread with The Gazette.
"That is the worst thing I ever put in my mouth," police reporter Maria St. Louis-Sanchez said. "And I ate dirt as a kid."
The editor who suggested the story, Joel Millman, took a sniff and pronounced, "There's no way I'm eating this stuff. It's vile."
Fearless eater and prep sports editor Joe Paisley dipped a cherry Twizzler in it. "Nasty," he remarked, as he unflinchingly ate it all.
Nothing compares with it, not even Marmite, favored by Brits. Says Richardson: "Don't insult Vegemite."
It's more fun to joyously sing about it, anyway:
We're happy little Vegemites, as bright as bright can be.
We all enjoy our Vegemite, for breakfast, lunch and tea.
Our Mummies say we're growing stronger, every single week
Because we love our Vegemite.
We all adore our Vegemite.
It puts a rose in every cheek!
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Want more? See the video and learn more about Vegemite right here.



